Walking Coma

For two and a half years
a walking coma
do not remember joy

happiness is something to be wary of
it disappears before
it is recalled

gratitude only exists
like the sensation of a missing limb
a vague stirring

exhausted of existing this way- just motions
this is not really living

this can't be living

10/13/11

Web of Lies

I helped spin
this web of lies
by muffling what truth sounds like
to my own ears

so tangled
each struggle
pulls a thread tighter
until I can barely breath

10/13/11

Fragile

Fragility
for too long
has been taboo

harden the soft underbelly
so no one could gnaw through
to the heart
and devour
everything I am
or will ever be

but the hardened shell cracks-
fractures radiate
like a grass fire consumes a prairie
too broken to stand any longer
razed and laid bare

desperate hands reach out
searching for something,
anything to hold on to
finger tips graze
too many false friends and fair-weathered hope

only understanding now
that each fracture
must be mended
by my own hands

10/13/11