Walk Away

I originally intended for this to be a song...but it didn't quite work out...combining too many concepts.

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Walking away from someone I love
is one of the most ridiculous things
I've ever had to do

but you pushed and pushed and pushed
until there was only one thing left to do

I will be the one that got away
I'm better off without you anyway
I will be the one who got away
and I'm gone, gone, gone

I will come get my things
untangle my heart
I'll write these words
to help cleanse you from my life

but you pushed and pushed and pushed
until there was only one thing left to do

I will be the one that got away
I'm better off without you anyway
I will be the one who got away
and I'm gone, gone, gone

Your priorities have been
whacked from the start
it was never my heart
never my heart
you said you loved
but I don't believe
don't believe

but you pushed and pushed and pushed
until there was only one thing left to do


I will be the one that got away
I'm better off without you anyway
I will be the one who got away
and I'm gone, gone, gone

but you pushed and pushed and pushed
until there was only one thing left to do

walk away

10/20/11

Cacophany

This pervasive ache
seeps into
all facets

senses revolt;
every input bruises
even sunlight-
just a reminder of the light I lost

my mind
my heart
awash with a constant cacophany

no way to drown it out

10-21-11

Suspended Haiku

I attempted to give this haiku another dimension by suspending it from trees....the result is not exactly what I was going for, but the spark is there.

Growth

Something has shaken,
shaken loose

falling through the cracks of my own plans,
like Alice down the rabbit hole
I tumble,
feet over head
finding new ways to see

all backwards and twisted

roots on an ancient tree
intertwined with soil and rock
heavy with the wisdom of ages
kept safe, kept hidden underground

each sprout now reaching for the light
holds precious gems of that wisdom

let the period of growth begin


09/29/09

Mapping

At one point in the night,
I could not tell where I ended
and you began

I found myself
merging into you,
and was dizzy with the rightness of it

I found myself trying to map your body with my skin,
but could not find the contacts,
could not find myself,
for I was lost in you

04/08/03

Used To

I used to listen to music
all the time

swaying to my own rhythm
because that's all there was

then there were two,
and I forgot how to listen-

too busy in life to remember me
before you


05-22-05

Not so Quiet

I lost my voice
overheard too many whispers
and started to believe
it's so quiet now,
so quiet,
but filled with anxiety

these beliefs, like stone
just weigh down
every innocence
and it's so quiet now,
so quiet,
but filled with worry

it feels like the whole world lied
and bits of truth
were like fireflies
there and gone
not really sure
if it was there at all

and it's so quiet now,
so quiet,
but filled with lies

those agreements that were made...
I don't ever remember agreeing-
remembering all I was taught
to forget
is like a war inside

It's not so quiet now,
not so quiet,
but filled with disbelief
at a world that taught me how to be...
taught us how to be silent

09/29/10

Hotel Poems

Travel with me
lets run away
I want your face to be
the only one I see for days

Perhaps in our seclusion
we might see
how right the magic 8 ball can be


12/14/07

I Am Not Sleeping

I am not sleeping
your words trapped in my head
bouncing around the nerves
that make me feel confused...

how do you let this go??!??
I am comfortable with you, more than I have ever been

I think you are a fool to let me go alone,
but you say I am not the one
so, of course, it must be true

(I must repeat these things to believe them)

I am not the one....I am NOT the one... I AM NOT THE ONE

and I cannot change your mind....

01/18/07

Developing

My hands in the dark
move nimbly

my fingers have grown eyes

I remove and Replace negatives
of very small grains

I sing in the dark room
when no one is around
to pass the minutes it takes
to bring latent images to life

when I finally reach the light
my eyes revolt against the brightness-
I have freakishly large pupils!

they eventually start to shrink
to where I no longer have to squint

my once nimble fingers area again clumsy


01/22/07

Paper Roof

I had built myself
a pretty hide-away with a paper roof

I placed all my cares and worries on top,
and I piled them high

The roof started to dip,
and so I tried to support it with a brrom

Suddenly, my pretty concave roof
came crashing down about me
and I was buried

4/16/03

Walking Coma

For two and a half years
a walking coma
do not remember joy

happiness is something to be wary of
it disappears before
it is recalled

gratitude only exists
like the sensation of a missing limb
a vague stirring

exhausted of existing this way- just motions
this is not really living

this can't be living

10/13/11

Web of Lies

I helped spin
this web of lies
by muffling what truth sounds like
to my own ears

so tangled
each struggle
pulls a thread tighter
until I can barely breath

10/13/11

Fragile

Fragility
for too long
has been taboo

harden the soft underbelly
so no one could gnaw through
to the heart
and devour
everything I am
or will ever be

but the hardened shell cracks-
fractures radiate
like a grass fire consumes a prairie
too broken to stand any longer
razed and laid bare

desperate hands reach out
searching for something,
anything to hold on to
finger tips graze
too many false friends and fair-weathered hope

only understanding now
that each fracture
must be mended
by my own hands

10/13/11